Empathy or Not? A Deeper Look

I was recently re-organizing some handouts that I often use for workshops, and came across this one on the difference between empathic and non-empathic responses.Reading it again, I was surprised to find myself arguing with my own handout, and realized that...

All About Needs

Last week, I received this lovely question:”I love how much more literate in feelings I am now, however honestly, I just don’t really get the universal human needs. Like how to actually connect to them and communicate about them in real life in real...

When Words Matter. (Or Not)

As I sit down to write to you today, I notice I am tired and longing for sleep.It’s the best kind of tired.The kind of tired that I feel after having used up every moment of a day doing work that I love, grappling with issues that feel meaningful and working...

How To Know If You Are Ready For Love

I remember telling my therapist (long, long ago) that the one thing I wanted to work on in therapy was why I was drawn like a moth to a flame to romantic partners who inevitably caused me tremendous distress and heartache.  I could recognize...

5 Steps to More Powerful Requests

Whenever I ask for something relational that I’m needing (comfort, affection, to be heard or seen) I feel super vulnerable. This isn’t easy.I worry about:1. Being turned down2. Feeling disappointed, and3. Then judging myself for being too needy,...
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