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What (Not) To Do When Triggered

by Yvette Erasmus | Jan 23, 2018 | Compassion, Courage, Empathy, Empowerment

As I was helping two people work through a conflict a few weeks ago, one of them turned to me and snapped,“So basically you’re accusing me of being abusive?”I took a deep breath.“OK. Let’s slow down … first, am I understanding what you are telling me...

Including More Parts. (Getting Bigger)

by Yvette Erasmus | Jan 2, 2018 | Compassion, Empowerment, NVC

We lived in Germany when I was in elementary school and each year for the holidays we would visit extended family “back home” in South Africa.I’d always be just a little more grown up.Hugging and welcoming us, family would turn to me saying with glowing, love...

Being Brave on Our Personal Journeys

by Yvette Erasmus | Sep 12, 2017 | Communication, Courage, Empowerment, NVC

When I get triggered by something, I often find myself reacting defensively by blaming, judging and avoiding the person or conversation.I get all reactive and evasive.When my instincts are to fight, or flee or freeze up, it can be hard to stay relational,...

Bowing Out Gracefully

by Yvette Erasmus | Aug 23, 2016 | Communication, Compassion, Dialogue, Empowerment, NVC, Reactivity, Relationships, Self-sabotage, Slowing Down, Universal Human Needs

This week I have the pleasure of responding directly to a question that someone recently sent me: I was recently having a conversation with my sister about how to gracefully bow out of a situation when we know we need to give ourselves time to re-energize.I...

Self-blame vs. Self-responsibility

by Yvette Erasmus | Aug 9, 2016 | Communication, Compassion, Empowerment, NVC, Slowing Down, Universal Human Needs

Some days, I am simply not ready to be a grown-up. At all.Waking up with anxiety recently, I buried myself deeper into bed.Free floating thoughts about finances, major life decisions, relationships, and a harsh critical voice pointing out all my failings and failures...

Will Revenge Make Me Feel Better?

by Yvette Erasmus | Jul 22, 2016 | Empathy, Empowerment, Kindness, Revenge, Self-sabotage, Suffering, Violence

Walking the dog this morning, I noticed my mind playing out a revenge fantasy that I have been harboring. Have you noticed how when people hurt us in deeply enduring and life-altering ways, we sometimes feel like the only way out of our pain and suffering is to hand...
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